Professional Opera singer, sybarite, aesthete, dandy and libertine.
Hardcore S&M expert & enthusiast, professional sadist, dedicated purveyor of perversion.
HOW JOHNNY KNOXVILLE & I FIRST FELL IN LOVE
Many ask how Mr. Knoxvile & I began our torrid affair. In aught 6 & aught 7, I sang the starring role of The President of the USA-- a sexually deviant "modern-major-general" figure-- in the cult sensation "THE BEASTLY BOMBING," a light-hearted comedy about terrorism written in frothy Gilbert & Sullivan style.
Johnny Knoxville had just discovered and befriended Julien Nitzberg, the demented genius who wrote and directed the Beastly Bombing, through a documentary about Hasil Adkins that Nitzberg directed some years ago.
The first night Johnny came to the show, he arrived with a raucous posse of at least 15 cronies. I'd gotten the tip from my spies that he was there, and made sure he was seated dead in my crosshairs: the center of the front row. Little did he suspect what carnal and lubricious violation waited in store...
As I made my thunderous entrance in the last minutes of Act I with the histrionic song "I am the Bravest President,", I danced tripping lightly, fa-la-la-ed, glad-handed the patrons, and recited my dubious assets.
As I approached the front row, I danced closer to Knoxville. I can still see the sweat glistening on his rugged brow, and count every shining tooth in his golden mouth:
"I can dance all night, even with a corn
I can shake hands with people who are lowly-born
At a military funeral, I can make-believe I mourn...
and at this magical moment, I threw my leg over Johnny's shoulder, grabbed his hair, and urgently pumped my crotch into his face while singing:
"I CAN EVEN STAY SOFT WHILE WATCHING REALLY HOT GAY PORN!
Singing fa-la-la-la fa-la-la-la fa-la-la-la YAY!
I am the Bravest President, of the USA..."
At this point, I made the "Call me!" pantomime gesture, as Johnny writhed and squirmed under my dominant grasp; tears streamed down his face, choked by uncontrollable hysterics and the masculine musk of my pungent gooch. His terror was palpable-- indeed it tickled my enflamed nostrils-- and yet mixed with a hopeful anticipation of the countless dark and violent sexual adventures to come.
And thus, a beautiful romance was born.
Merlin caught with Knoxville:
Merlin mounts a hapless photographer (as done to Knoxville in song):
BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH
I left home at 16, went to New York at 18, fled to London at 20, and at 21 began to pursue a career in opera.
From San Francisco to New York to Los Angeles to Paris, I've sung roughly thirty-five professional roles. From Mozart to Verdi to Puccini, I've a solid background in "Standard Repertoire." But I can also claim such august distinctions as having created the role of the sexually abusive grandfather in the world-premiere of the lesbian serial-killer opera, WUORNOS.
A libertine at heart, I also perform broadly in burlesque, vaudeville & variety entertainments of the most off-color and naughty variety.
In 2005, I sang at the Exotic Erotic Ball in front of over 10,000 fetish-clad perverts. That same year, I performed the role of the Criminologist at the Hollywood Bowl for the Rocky Horror Picture Show's 35th anniversary celebration, before 13,000.
I've performed at Club Dandy, Naked, The Eros Party, Victorian Balls, and sung-while-flogging at elite "Debaucherama" New Year's Eve events, among many other ribald adventures. For some years, I've been a VIP (Very-Important-Pervert) at Bondage-A-Go-Go in San Francisco, and could frequently be seen as a public sadist and exhibitionist there and at many other dungeons, bondage and fetish clubs.
In 1994, I first met Quentin Crisp (1908-1999), who became my friend and mentor. In countless afternoons spent together in New York diners, I absorbed a great deal of his unique philosophy of style and self-presentation, like an acolyte on the steps of the throne. Read his monumental first autobiography, "The Naked Civil Servant," and understand.
